Before you experience the new parents' learning curve, you get to go through the first time pregnancy learning curve. I'm finding out all sorts of information that will be useful--next time around.
Here are a few things I've learned along the way:
When I first got pregnant I couldn't understand why people would ask me how I was feeling if they didn't really care about my answer. Now I know that it was because they knew how bad it was going to get. There I was telling them about how tired I felt, and they're thinking, "If you think that's bad, wait until you're still tired, but you can't even clip your own toenails to boot."
Second, books about pregnancy are good for cute drawings of your unborn baby, and for telling you how big they're getting and what sort of new body parts they're developing. But, for any other sort of advice, they're worthless. Apparently the people in those books live in some sort of dream world where you can miss work just to get some more sleep--because it's what's best for your baby--and you have the time and energy to cook yourself fabulously healthy, from scratch meals every night. Then again, if you really could miss work every time you felt like the baby wanted you to get some more sleep, then you probably could cook yourself fabulous meals every night, because you would be sleeping all the time.
And people tell me that every pair of new parents goes through the experience of going to the hospital for a false alarm. They may just be saying that to make me feel better, but at least I don't feel quite as embarrased about it this way.
Among other things, the trip taught me that labor and delivery nurses are not concerned about your privacy at all. Other nurses, if they tell you to undress, they at least leave the room while you're taking your clothes off. Labor and delivery nurses stand right there and watch. I finally got used to people seeing me naked, but now I have to get used to people watching me get naked. What's next?
I'll tell you what's next: I learned I don't like doctors who make guesses about things like when my child will be born. One medical expert says something like "You'll probably deliver in the next 48 hours," and of course that puts you on pins and needles, but then guess what happens? Nothing. So, to sum up, could the very highly paid medical professionals whose opinions I trust please not make random guesses about things like the birth of my child? If you tell me I will probably give birth tomorrow, please make sure you are darn sure about that first! Come on--doctors go to school for how many years? I don't think this is too much to ask of them.
I have learned how little I actually know about my own body. I've read the books and taken the classes, but it comes down to the simple fact that I've never experienced anything like this before, and honestly, I have no clue what's going on. I just hope I figure it out before the baby falls out! Okay, I actually am not worried about that. I'm trusting everyone who has said that yes, it does get more obvious what's happening when it is actually time to deliver the baby. But you know, then again, you hear these horror stories--but let's not think about that. That's why I don't allow myself to watch "I didn't know I was pregnant" on the Discovery channel.
Finally, I've learned that nothing makes you appreciate the baby growing inside of you quite like seeing your husband sitting on the couch telling you how left out he feels because he doesn't get to experience all of the little kicks and wiggle. When I see how much he would love to have that special connection with our daughter, it is a great reminder that pregnancy--even with all of its quirks--is indeed a blessing!
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Blogs are a great catharsis, Katie. I can just "hear" you saying these things--that makes it even more precious. You've heard me tell this story I know.... But when we were awaiting your arrival at the Katy Hospital, I needed to call Alan, who was babysitting Kyle. I asked the nurse an estimate of "time of arrival". She pulled out this big computer chart and point here, here and here and said oh, it could be 24 hours. I went to make the call. Upon returning to the delivery room, the hall was filled with furniture and the door closed. I asked at the nursing station, and they said oh she had a girl.... So much for professional knowledge and computer programs. Not much as changed in 23 years. lol Just know that I'm praying for you and just hang in there. You will deliver at some time.... Love you lots, Mawmaw
I personally find it very wrong that these doctors make a killing and are surrounded by countless pieces of computer and engineering mastery and still have no better estimate than my boss at work (the thirty something father of two). I know that historically we wouldn't even have had a doctor, so I kind of wonder why we bother paying for one now. I'm sure I can find any number of people to "catch the baby" for a lower fee.
Oh Katie! The poor docs are stuck in what is the infernal and eternal learning curve, too, and a really good (or maybe humble) doc will admit that to you, but most who go thru med school (men in particular, IMO), aren't known for their humility. So, we are stuck, as women, in their world of thinking they know something. They don't! They are only there with a catcher's mitt to make sure you live thru all this. I personally think midwives are about in the same boat, they just are endowed with a bit more humility and probably some God-given mothering sense that at minimum helps us feel maybe a little less insecure and mortified that we are about to enter into Cosby's realm of pulling the bottom lip up over our head. This is unfortunately yet another realm where no one knows the day or the hour (or the minute for that matter). When the nurse tells you to cross your legs and wait for the doctor to arrive, they know it is inevitable, but until then...they simply know you are pregnant. And, if anyone ever tells you to do that cross the leg move, you may call them names and publicly declare their total stupidity because not pushing is not possible and PUSH AWAY, and besides, no one pays attention to what a woman says in labor! Out of 7 kids, I have had a false alarm at least once for at least 6 of them, and those were the last 6. At this point, labor starts and stops and to even use the term "false" is a misnomer. False just means that it is not continuing or progressing. In that case as well, all of my labors but one should have been called totally not real because they have all had to either be induced or prodded along - I just don't labor well without some assistance for some reason. I've tried, but I really didn't want to carry around a 16yo in my womb, so something had to be done. In terms of modesty - welcome to being a woman. Last pregnancy, I had a LD nurse intern learning on me the whole time alongside a seasoned nurse. Why not?!! There's no modesty in the anyway - you are the guinea pig. Just smile and make light of it. By the time you have more kids, there's no privacy at home either unless you install a lock on the bedroom and bathroom door and then there's still no privacy, simply little fingers sticking under the door and asking you what you're up to. Oh, and for those women who eat bon-bons and don't work and take naps when they please, that's another bunch of hooey, and reserved only for those who live in the realm of affording nannies and eat out every meal. Even if you are home, you're too pregnant to sleep and if you have kids, it's a royal joke. Ask my other friend Katy whose toddler ran down the block one day when she collapsed in exhaustion on the couch and accidentally dozed off. You are just being trained for a lifestyle of sleep deprivation. Now it's babies. In 16 years, it will be teens in your bedroom at midnight talking. I think maybe you get to that sleep recovery stage at about 75 when it is acceptable to sit in your recliner and appear incoherent.
To Mimi, Even at 70 you still don't get to sleep, because Renee calls you just as you are going to bed and says Katie's going to the hospital. So I spend the night reading and praying and sometimes sleeping... lol Katie's Mawmaw
Dear Katie, I've been checking in with extra thoughts and prayers for you over the past 24 hours. Ashley told me yesterday that you have been having contractions and so we are all in a state of "heightened alert"! :-) There's something very special for us as women to gather around our loved ones and to cheer you on through the preparations and process of bringing a new life into the world. What a blessing!!! I was wondering yesterday how can time fly by so quickly from the waiting room @ the Katy Hospital with your fam, awaiting your arrival… to present day Katie Mathis Krebs anxiously awaiting the arrival of her own precious daughter?! And of course the added treat for your Mom & I is that our own baby girls have developed a life-long friendship of their own. I know this time seems to drag on forever with so much anticipation...uncertainty about the future…many hopes and dreams…but the bottom line is, God is in Control…and His timing is perfect. And as you know, our joy comes with understanding that truth. She will be here before you know it!!
As far as those “practice” runs to the hospital – I remember how annoying those were. Actually, especially when I'd had a few kids and thought "I should know better by now”. ;-) The nurse told me the more kids you have, the more your body “stops and starts” labor-so just expect it. Nothing to feel bad about. Little Miss Emmie is just gearing up for her grand entrance! Take lots of walks and keep your bags packed! Oh, and of course...don't forget to have Josh take lots of pictures of the new baby!!!! ;-) You’ll do fine and remember, you have a host of people praying for you and your precious upcoming arrival!
All I can really tell you is that it is all totally worth it. One day this will all be a sweet memory. God's timing is perfect.. just like your baby girl.
Love,
Judy
We all are praying for you and we all love you. I know you and Josh especially want her to be here. Mama said that no Doctor can give an exact TOA so we are all just waiting relatively patiently for Emme to be here. I know this must be frustrating for you but hang in there Katie!
When Abby was almost two weeks past her due date, and we were spending a lonely Christmas waiting for her (no grandparents would come until the baby was actually HERE), we went out for Chinese on Christmas Eve. I was in labor Christmas afternoon and she was born at 4 a.m. on the 27th. That was a long haul, but we looked back and though that the dejected dinner might have set things off. So with David two years later I was again two weeks late and we jokingly went out for Italian--he came the next evening! For Betsy we went out for Mexican the evening before a planned induction and I went into labor on my own just before the induction appointment the next evening. By the time it was Ben's turn to be born, we were in Jackson and pretty much bereft of some new international option. After two days of "false labor" we took everybody out for a cheering supper at Outback (yeah, Australian is international!) and, voila! Ben was born the next morning, after an evening of labor during which I paused *Air Force One* with every contraction and frustrated my dear husband to no end. :-) Start your own "waiting" tradition!
Katie, how does it feel to be a "member of the club"? Pretty soon you're going to have your own stories to use and encourage someone else with. Hang in there sweetie! Little Miss Emmie will be here before you know it.
Didn't you know that doctors are just weathermen in white coats??? and we ALL KNOW how well they do their jobs???? Predicting, not so much, but when the real moment is here, that's when they do their jobs.......won't be long now, and then you'll know what it's like, for sure that it's worth it, and you'll wonder at the process of it all.....we'll all be praying and trusting God that in His perfect timing, you are gonna be a momma, and be a real member of a new club!
Cheers!
Suzanen
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